What to do when you are Never Enough


I shared a few posts ago that I realised I had been writing many posts on gardening because it was easier than the topics I feel more deeply. Don’t get me wrong, I am passionate about gardening, I love it. It’s my happy place. But it doesn’t leave me vulnerable. It doesn’t dig deep to share my struggles. So, deep breath…

I want to write about when you feel like you are never enough.

When every night, you go to bed with your head full of the things you did wrong that day.

When you keep busy; watch tv, scan facebook, listen to podcasts in your every waking moment because it provides a much-needed reprieve from the voices in your head. When those voices in your head are always finding fault, tearing you down, comparing your life and your actions unfavourably to others.

I have to confess I have struggled with this all my life. Always feeling like others have it sorted out more than I do.
I share my happy things on facebook and people say to me “Oh wow, you’re so amazing!” or call me SuperMum. I hear those things and the voices in my head kick off
“They would never say that if they knew… (what you are really like/ the mistakes you make/ the way your house looks right now/ the way you spoke to your children this morning)”

If you have ever given me a lovely compliment, please forgive me for this response. I know it robs you from the blessing offered as well as me.

So. What do you do when you are NEVER.. ENOUGH…?

You remain in His love.


Do you know that God loves you? Are you convinced? Do you feel it?

If you’re anything like me, you might say yes to the first, maybe no to the second and third questions. The phrase above comes from a verse in the Bible.
“As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Now remain in my love.” John 15:9
That verse is two-fold.
First, you are as loved by Jesus as much as He, the perfect saviour of mankind, is loved by the creator of the universe! Selah. You did nothing to earn that place and you will never have to.

Secondly, we have an active role to play in staying in that place of being loved.

I know that for me, I have spent years allowing thoughts contrary to that “lovedness” to swirl around in my mind. I have agreed with them. I have literally worn mental ruts in my mind where the easiest, unconscious option for my thoughts is to fall into is those unloved, condemned thoughts of Never Enough.

But the good news is that I can change those mental pathways. I can change my default thought pattern to Loved, Enough, Precious. Every time I feel those Never Enough thoughts start swirling, I choose to take them captive, confront them as lies and replace them with a truth. Maybe a song to sing, maybe a verse to meditate on, maybe a compliment to bask in. Whatever I choose to dwell on, it will form in my brain as a physical pathway to knowing and feeling that I am loved.

Have you experienced this? What lies have you believed about not being enough? And what are you taking away from this?

Comments

  1. JCluvsyou10 May 2018 at 23:40

    Thanks for sharing that, and being vulnerable. You are beautiful. I love that you draw attention to that verse John 15:9...I love that verse and the one that follows...great reminder.

    ReplyDelete

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