Kids and apologies

Birth choice is vital

Picture this..

A woman walks into a hospital. The bright lights are blaring, the floors are squeaky clean, the corridors long, the faces strange. She has come to experience one of the most formative and powerful days of her life. She is here to give birth. 

She signs a form, is assigned a room, with a bed, a bathroom, a curtain to pull around for some privacy. She's nervous but excited. The noises carry on around outside, as people bustle about. She unpacks her things with love, a baby blanket here, a suit and hat and booties there. The midwife on duty is lovely, but she's finishing in a couple of hours. She hopes she's still there in time for the birth.

At any (and many) moment, the door to her room swings open to let in another stranger, someone who is doubtless polite but has an opinion on her ability and progress. 

They all talk to her nicely, explain everything to her, but they push her for an inch here, an inch there. "Yes, I know you wanted to labour standing up, but we just need to put the monitor on your belly, to make sure baby's ok. We want to make sure baby's ok, right? Ok, so sit back on the bed, lie still so we can get a good reading."
"Yes, I know you wanted to labour in the pool, but hospital policy..."
"Sorry darling to interrupt, here's Doctor such and such, we just need to come in and..."
"We just need to... "

Interventions happen, just little compromises here, another little change there. The feeling is clear. They are the experts and she just needs to trust them, to do what they say and to agree with whatever they feel is best. Plus, she's scared, she's vulnerable, she's tired, they seem nice, she hasn't done this before... maybe it's unreasonable to question them, to say no? Her first midwife clocks off, a new one arrives, smiling and nice, but another stranger. Her husband is nervous and unsure. She feels unsettled and out of control.

Suddenly, it's all go, they tell her it's time to push. But she hasn't felt any need to push yet?
"Baby is not happy, we need to hurry up and get him out. Give me a big push now!"

She strains and pushes, strains and pushes, for what seems like an age. She is scared. The baby needs forceps, they tell her.
"I know you didn't want forceps, but baby needs to come out NOW."
Baby is manoevred out, she gets to meet him and it's wonderful, she's in love! But she's also feeling battered. Disappointed. Confused. A failure. It wasn't how she thought it would be, what she hoped. She guesses she's just not one of those women who can do it naturally.

Now picture this..

The car pulls up in the middle of the night at a little house in a quiet street in town. There's laughter and an air of excitement as the car doors open and a woman is helped out and waddles towards the house. The door swings open and her friend, yes, her new friend, the midwife, opens the door with a smile and a kind greeting

"Look at you! Smiling and pink! I think we're going to meet this little one sometime soon! Come in, I've just started to run the bath in case you'd like to labour in there like last time."

The woman walks into the house, makes her way through the cosy quiet, into a candlelit room, with soft music playing. There's a lace-covered crib in the corner, a beautiful four-poster bed with wooden beams at seemingly perfect height to lean on while standing during a contraction.

The midwife follows her in, chatting and laughing with the husband. A quick check of baby's heartbeat with a portable doppler assures them all that baby is happy and well. The midwife mentions that the secondary midwife will arrive soon and asks them what they'd like to do right now.
"Would you like a heat pack for your back? Do you want to try the bath now, or leave it for later? Heat pack and dancing? Sounds like a great idea! I'll go get the heat pack. Would either of you like a hot drink?"

She's present, but sensitive. Smiling and watchful, respectful, kind. The secondary midwife arrives, introduces herself and retires into the other room to knit and leave the couple in privacy to labour as they prefer. She's there for the actual birth only, unless wanted.
The labour continues on, peaceful, calm. They move to the bath. Another check with the doppler. Baby's doing fine. No need to check dilation, the midwife laughs, baby will come when he comes! The hot water soothes the ache in her back. They chat happily between contractions and laugh about antics of the older children asleep at home with Grandma. The contractions are getting stronger, the husband wipes her face with a cool wet cloth and whispers encouragement.
The midwife quietly suggests a change of position for better progress. The mother asks "How much longer?" The midwife reassures her that she's doing great, She's in transition now, the pushing will come soon.

"I think I need to push. Should I push?"
"You can push if you like, but you'll save your energy if you wait until you can't help pushing. Those pushes are easier and more efficient."

Soon the pushing is too powerful to stop, it comes in waves and feels like a force apart from herself, outside her control. It's not long before the baby is crowning.
"Okay, just breathe now, wait, no pushing for this contraction. Baby's helping open you up, just breathe, I know it stings."

Baby's head emerges with a rush and a shock. A cry of pain. The gentle voice says to wait again, breathe, you're doing so well. The baby's turning. 

The final push, the rush of baby, the mother reaches down to bring her child up out of the water.
Joy, kisses, exclamations of "Oh, my baby! Oh hello, my darling!!" and "Congratulations! You did so well! Isn't he beautiful!" Fill the air. Baby lays squalling on his mother's breast as the midwife watches and waits for the placenta to come. Peace and wonder. Joy and exultation. The mother feels invincible. She could climb a mountain!

Coffee and a big brother in the fabulous bed after birth.

In recent sad news, I found out that the wonderful Launceston Birth Centre, where I gave birth to 5 of my 7 babies, (in a range of versions of the above, second story,) and whose midwives have also cared for me during my 2 home births, is finally closing down. After three years of difficulty in finding a permanent, endorsed midwife to attend births through the centre, they have decided, sadly, that their only option is to close.
Three years ago, as the Launceston Birth Centre Facebook page announced, "..the climate for independant midwifery changed in our nation, requiring those midwives who wanted to practice in a homebirth setting to undertake further study to become an endorsed midwife and abide by new and ever changing regulations. Ultimately, this has made it increasingly harder for independant midwives to practice because of these exclusions."

With 7 beautiful, empowered and peaceful births under my belt, thanks to these wonderful and competent midwives, this news is devastating. With this final consequence from so much red tape and hoop-jumping for midwives, closes the door to many women to an entire subset of choices.
The chance to have a birth at home with a qualified medical professional, the choice to have a birth outside the hospital system in a private birth centre, almost nil.
Women are left with few options- a few might be able to find a private midwife, who, despite the regulations, might be willing to support a woman through a home birth, but the most likely result is that women will either have to birth in the hospital, where the atmosphere, options and staff are out of their hands, where their choices are subject to argument and even sometimes coercion, or to birth at home, without help or attendance. Neither of those feels like a viable option for me.
As I increasingly hear from women I know who felt unsupported, overpowered, bullied and yes, even traumatised through their hospital births, my passion for this crucial option of private midwives increases.
It is a woman's RIGHT to medical autonomy, to bodily autonomy, to choose her carers, and to be respected and cared for in a way that rightly acknowledges her authority over her own body and her baby's.
In case you haven't noticed, the government and AHPRA are steadily reducing our options for health care. They are steadily degrading our power of choice, backing good medical professionals into a corner where they have no option other than to buckle under and toe the line. This is just another consequence of this and honestly, I'm sick of it.
You don't have to want a home birth or birth centre birth to know that women should have the choice to birth as and how they choose. Please, stand up and let your voice be heard on this issue. Let the government know that they are reaching too far and that we want our rights.


If you would like to hear more from me, please head over to my Facebook page, Acres of Abundance and follow me there.